Well meaning charity goat gift card.
(& you wanted a f***ing iPad!)
Showing posts with label Xmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Xmas. Show all posts
Friday 7 December 2012
Thursday 6 December 2012
Advent of unwanted gifts # 6
Crappy TV tie-in annual.*
*Recipe - quickly re-hash old TV scripts together add a few photos then season with a healthy dollop of contempt for the buying public.
*Recipe - quickly re-hash old TV scripts together add a few photos then season with a healthy dollop of contempt for the buying public.
Labels:
advent,
Christmas,
fish,
goldfish,
illustration,
Jeremy Clarkson,
present,
Top Gear,
unwanted gift,
Xmas
Wednesday 5 December 2012
Advent of unwanted gifts # 5
Offensive confectionery.
(shhhh...don't shoot me but I always liked coffee creams etc. - the ones everyone hates!)
(shhhh...don't shoot me but I always liked coffee creams etc. - the ones everyone hates!)
Labels:
advent,
cat,
chocolate,
chocolates,
Christmas,
cream,
ginger,
illustration,
present,
steve may,
sweets,
unwanted gift,
Xmas
Tuesday 4 December 2012
Monday 3 December 2012
Advent of unwanted gifts #3
Labels:
advent,
aftershave,
bear,
bears,
Christmas,
illustration,
present,
unwanted gift,
Xmas
Sunday 2 December 2012
Saturday 1 December 2012
Thursday 17 December 2009
Saturday 10 January 2009
Guardian All Ears 10th January
Shame we couldn't have put this nearer to Xmas - I'm sure everyody's forgotten about office parties et al by now...
I love the Kiss reference - they're hilarious - & (sshhh!) I know for a fact that they use dummy Marshall stacks on stage ie ones with no speakers inside. In a previous life I once spent an afternoon in Birmingham NEC setting the fake speaker cabinets up. How RAWK is that?
Article by Michael Holden
I was in a hostelry so dense with seasonal drunks it was actually easier to stay inside and put up with it than fight your way out. After a while the two people who had been standing within a centimetre of me were joined by a third who began by apologising for his late arrival.
Man 3: (acting like he’d been running) “Whoah, sorry about that, got held up at work.”
Man 2: (doubtful-not about to let him get off lightly) “Yeah? What happened then? We’ve been here nearly an hour.”
Man 1: (not to be ignored and suspicious of Man 1’s breathlessness) “I actually did run here, to try and be on time, to meet you.”
Man 3: “Well it was the office party, I couldn’t not go. I got away as fast as I could.”
Man 2: (forgiving) “You’ve done well in that case.”
Man 1: “How was it?”
Man 3: “Beyond belief. They cancelled the venue ‘cos of the budget cuts.”
Man 2: “So where was it?”
Man 1: (still amazed) “In the room where the vending machines are. It was just my department, but still. My boss came over and offered me a glass of wine, she’d put make up round her eye-sort of drawn a star-to mark the occasion.”
Man 2: “Like the bloke from Kiss?”
Man 1: “Exactly-the guitarist.”
Man 2: “Jesus.”
Man 1: The wine was bad too. In the end I just stuck some money in the machine and had a coffee.”
Man 3: (feeling comparatively well off enough to ignore the reality of their present surroundings, and the fact that he was standing on my foot) “Well, at least we’re here.”
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