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Sunday 12 September 2010

The Guardian - Michael Holden's All Ears 11th September


I always feel cheated if I take a numbered ticket & don't end up with a cheese based product in the end...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/sep/11/michael-holden-all-ears
(article by Michael Holden)
Strange places, hospital pharmacies. They appear to be capable of spending so long assembling the medication that high-street chemists move like professional martial artists by comparison. And yet the fact that you are here, collecting your own drugs, rather than lying in bed upstairs receiving them intravenously, breeds a gratitude that helps to nullify delays. I took a ticket and sat down, as an older couple on my right began to examine theirs.

Woman "I can't see what it is."

Man "Eh?"

Woman "What it says."

Man "What?"

Woman "The ticket."

Man "What about it?"

Woman "Is it 89 or 68?"

Man "Eh?"

Woman (turning the ticket around in front of him to illustrate her dilemma) "89 or 68, see? Which is it?"

It was 89. I knew this because my number was 93. I was poised to intervene when the man, having grasped the situation, sprang into action and approached the pharmacy window.

Woman (sensing trouble) "Sit down."

Man (undeterred) "What's this, then?"

Pharmacist "Sorry?"

Man (pinning the ticket to the security glass) "89 or 68?"

Pharmacist "It's 89, 68 has gone."

The man came back.

Man "It's 89."

Woman (snatching it back) "I heard her."

She seemed furious at his intervention. He sank down by her side as the pharmacist called their number.

Woman (handing him back the ticket) "About time."

Thursday 9 September 2010

Wednesday 8 September 2010

'Rabbits' wins Gold in New Media section of Images 34







My short phantasmagorical rabbit & flying saucer strewn creep-fest 'Rabbits' just won the Gold award for New Media in this year's Association of Illustrators Images awards
Images is the UK's longest running independently jury selected annual of illustration & is now in its 34th year - the awards were held at the London College of Communication in the picturesque environs(!) of Elephant & Castle in London - pictures to follow but meanwhile take a look at the film!
http://www.aoiimages.com/awards.htm

Monday 6 September 2010

Saturday 4 September 2010

The Guardian - Michael Holden's All Ears 4th September


Reverse Santa...see what I did there? Not my cleverest one I'm afraid! (faintly odd drawing Santa outfit in August while preparing for Carnival too)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/sep/04/michael-holden-all-ears
(Article by Michael Holden)
In a coffee shop on Saturday, two men were catching up on what they'd been up to during the week. The question of their attendance at the party of a mutual friend came to dominate the agenda.

Man 1 "What was your excuse?"

Man 2 (smiling, untouchable) "I was in Germany."

Man 1 (envious) "Right."

Man 2 "You survived then?"

Man 1 "Well, I bailed out early. With a crowd like that you know what you're in for. It's terrifying, really. Blokes who've been at it for over 30 years, some of them with their sons now – who look just as mental …"

Man 2 "How was the food?"

Man 1 "Shit, as always. But they took the money off you at the door. I tried to get as much of it down as I could to get my money's worth. And then later on the drugs are kicking in and no one's interested. Piles of it just sitting there."

Man 2 "What did you get him?"

Man 1 "Burned a CD."

Man 2 "And what did he make of that?"

Man 1 "Couldn't tell – he did the old reverse Santa."

Man 2 "What's that?"

Man 1 "You bring someone a present, they don't look at it and just chuck it in a sack and fuck off at the end of the evening."

Man 2 "I hate that!"

Man 1 "Me too, but then, what can you do?"

Man 2 "And that's the reverse Santa?"

Man 1 "That's what I call it."

Man 2 "Do you mind if I start using that?"

Man 1 "No, feel free. Take it, say nothing and fuck off with it. It's what anyone else would do." •

Friday 3 September 2010

Thursday 2 September 2010

East...



...always relieved to see that East London is still holding its own in the silly outfit / hair stakes